The Share

The Last 48 Hours

We asked a few local folks with various lengths of recovery what their last 48 hours of drinking and using was like and what their life is like now that they are clean and sober. 


Recovery First

“In my last 48 hours before I got sober, I could not stop. I was a train wreck. I was alone and disconnected. I was losing weight and I shut everybody out. I was in a very dark and angry space. I had been sober before, but I don’t feel like I ever surrendered. This time around I was willing to do anything my new sponsor told me to do. I gave up everything that I was holding on to, and I checked myself into the Van Ness Recovery House. That’s where my journey began. I was there for eight months. I learned a lot at that house. I became vulnerable and said yes to everything… I’ve always been able to get sober, but I was never really happy. This time I wanted emotional recovery. I’m starting to actually like myself. The gym, the boy and everything from the outside always came first, but now I’m putting my recovery first.”

—Mike Costa, clean and sober since December 9, 2016.

Very Pivotal

“My last 48 hours, I was in Albuquerque New Mexico. I was DJing for gay pride. All I remember was asking God to keep me clean that weekend. I did my gig and I locked myself up in my hotel room. I was so sick and tired and I just wanted to get through that weekend. Then I had a CeCe Peniston moment. She performed before I did my gig. She pointed at me while she sang—‘Finally it’s happened to me right in front of my face and I just cannot hide it.’ That was exactly what was happening. I couldn’t hide it anymore. It was weird. Then when I got home the next day, I had an intervention. That was it. I was done. It was big exhale. God struck me sober. Today I’m still working the same sober job I got ten years ago. Consistency has been very pivotal for me. I just got engaged to my boyfriend of three years. I have a serious committed relationship with somebody for the first time in my life. It feels wonderful.”

—Edwin Irizarry, sober since June 9, 2007.

Finally Surrender

“My last 48 hours were the worst. My health and my life were completely destroyed. I had no will to live. The drugs didn’t work anymore. I would go at it and nothing. At the same time my rock bottom was something very grand, because It made me finally surrender. It forced me to take action. I woke up at a parking lot in Hollywood. I was dirty. My shoes didn’t match. It was the worst. That’s when everything changed. I said no more… My life today is much better. I have my own apartment. I have a job. I have a lot of people who love me and who I love in return. I’m reconnected with my family and I have my family of choice. Today I have peace and tranquility. I have my sober date and maintaining that is the only thing I do perfectly. I won’t change it. I have my ups and lows like everyone but what I do right today is I don’t use, I don’t drink and I protect my sober date. I try to help others. I am of service. I really love my life today.”

—-Arturo Carvajal, clean and sober since May 15, 2006.