The Share

In The Spirit Of Fellowship

We asked these clean and sober individuals who participated in this year’s Gay & Sober Men conference in New York, why they think fellowship is an important part of recovery


“I love fellowship in recovery. I love the beautiful sense of community that we have. I love that we celebrate life. I love that we want to do that together and really go out into the world and make the most of it. I’m kind of naturally an introvert, but also when I’m around people, I get energized by them. I have to make the effort to put myself, but once I do, then I feel the energy and enjoy. The person who thinks life is over after getting sober, I say gurl you are in for an absolute surprise. Live is meant to be enjoyed in sobriety. You will find, not only the energy to do activities and you’ll find a new of appreciating them.” 

—Stephen Blaha, sober since September 6, 2006.


“I think the most important thing is that we be an example for others and we show others that it can be done. I do fellowship and do all kinds of stuff because people need to see that it works. People need to see that it in another person, that they’re happy. That’s the one thing I remember being in fear of when I first got sober that it was the end of the world. What has come to pass for me is the complete opposite. It was the beginning of my life. I get to show other that we can be happy and joyous and free and enjoy life. It’s important that people in recovery feel safe and that they can have fun. We don’t have to be limited to anything.” 

—Edwin Irizarry, sober since June 9, 2007. 


“I think fellowship is important because it helps you to develop a sense of community. I think sometimes when you’re at meetings—you need that extra bond with people. Sometimes things get hatched out in fellowship that you normally wouldn’t be able to speak on at a meeting. Those people that you develop a community with, you can depend on to lean on when you’re in a bad spot and need to call on somebody to talk you off the ledge. I think it’s very important to develop your own posse and to really be a part of that, so you are not alone. It’s important to know that not only can you have that community but you can really have fun in sobriety. The fun doesn’t stop.”

—Dominick Romain, sober since April 22, 2011.