SPIRIT OF THE FELLOWSHIP
We asked these clean and sober individuals about the fellowship in sobriety and how friendships and chosen family help in their program of recovery
BY PAULO MURILLO
GREAT NETWORK
“I have made amazing friends through the fellowship of recovery. My sober fellowship is filled with activities. I travel, I’ve gone camping, I joined a dodgeball team, I’ve done cruises, and then there are sober meetings I attend with fellowship afterwards. I don’t poach for business in the fellowship, but people are supportive and it’s been a great network for me as a hairdresser. It’s also an opportunity to use the tools on people in the program. I’ve had some hard times, like the death of my mother, and I really leaned into the fellowship. They carried me through that. I am not alone. The fellowship is everywhere. I went to Spain and someone recognized me through the fellowship. It’s amazing. We are worldwide. My sponsor told me to seek the fellowship I crave and today I have friends with common interest. Before I had to be the drug dealer and always had something to sell that was superficial. Today, I have different groups like my movie groups, and I don’t bank on one group of friends. I don’t have a best friend today, but I have amazing extraordinary friends in the fellowship of the program.”
—Leandro’ Deleon, sober since January 27, 2008.
THE CONNECTIONS
“My friends group has gotten a lot smaller. It’s a tight knit group of people that are trustworthy, but what I like about my friends is that they are not all in the same circle. A lot of my close friends are spread out, so it makes my sober social circle a lot bigger. We do a lot of partying and meditation retreats. We go to raves, we go to concerts and pretty much anything, but we do it sober. I was not able to do stuff like go to bars or raves in my early recovery. I didn’t know how to separate the drink and the drug from all the other stuff. Now I have a purpose for going to these places, whether it’s a sober birthday party, or I want to go dance with friends. There were no friendships before I got sober if there were no drugs or drinks involved. The sober fellowship is amazing. I would not be sober without it. It’s a huge part of my recovery. It’s all about the connections that I have with all of these people.”
—Rob Hill, sober since September 8, 2013.
NO ULTERIOR MOTIVES
“My fellowship is about unity. I get to unite with likeminded people with the same goals who want sobriety, peace and happiness in their lives. Fellowship is about getting with people I admire where I can express my true self and not have to worry about hiding or being someone else. In my addiction, I was always trying to people please and be someone I wasn’t, where as today, I get support from people who are there for me with no ulterior motives. Today, I’m surrounded with people I like and respect. I get to be of service and show up for others as well. When I fall, they pick me up. When they fall, I pick them up. We also have fun. I have a movie group. We have dinner and go to the movies every Friday. I have hiking friends. We have dinners, brunches and celebrations. I get to enjoy the moment and be present and enjoy life. That’s what the fellowship means to me. It’s about support.”
—Jose Luis Aguilera, sober since August 9, 2019.
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