SOBER IN THE NEW YEAR
We asked these three clean and sober individuals with different lengths of recovery time what their goals are for staying the course in 2023
BY PAULO MURILLO
FOCUS ON TODAY
“I stay sober by going to meetings regularly. I have a sponsor and a sponsee. I also belong to a club that helps me in my journey. This is our club where we bounce things off each other and help each other out. Regarding 2023, we have a thing we say in recovery where we only focus on today. We’re not here to look into a crystal ball. I can focus on today and try to be a good person, be good to my family and my friends. Being clean and sober is a spiritual path. I know that when I’m focused on my Higher Power and I’m focusing on being good to others and to myself, I’m on that path. As soon as I start acting up, or craving things I shouldn’t be craving, it takes me off the path. My brain starts to take me places I shouldn’t go. I know when I’m on the path because my head is right and I feel like I’m a better member of society.”
—Miguel Lopez, sober since May 12, 2015.
THE BIGGEST THING
“The biggest thing that has kept me sober this last year that I’m going to continue doing is showing up for my friends and continue allowing them to show up for me. That’s just something that I have never had in my life. Today I have people who I don’t have to prove something to, I don’t have to scream for attention, and they want the best for me. Being a part of that and feeding into that has been the biggest thing that I have taken away in my sobriety and it is definitely what I’m leaning into in the new year. I have people who invite me to events. My parents are back in my life. I just got a job and I was able to open and honest. I can call people today and say, ‘hey, I’m obsessing today,’ or, ‘this happened today,’ and they also let me into their lives. Today I don’t I have to use to connect with people. I don’t need a substance to let down my guard. I have that sense of belonging. I get to be me. This is a new thing. For the last 29 years of my life, I’ve never had this in my life. I plan to hold on to it in 2023.”
—Matthew Salamun, sober since October 27, 2021.
MOVING FORWARD
“I do a whole goal-setting for the year and take a couple of days at the beginning of the year to look back and then look forward. I have all kinds of stuff in there that breaks down the personal and professional and spiritual. I do a whole exercise. In 2022 I got a dog and a boyfriend. There is a quote that the opposite of addiction is connection. Addiction thrives in the dark. Even at 12 years sober, I can’t afford to be doing this alone. I made some good connections in 2022. I did the AIDS/Lifecycle and my boyfriend and I started to make a home together. The service piece and the part where we have to give it away to keep it, is the foundation of my sobriety. I want to do more service, whether that’s through sponsorship or my job. I do think if you’re not growing, you’re going backwards. I find that to be true and I’m more interested in moving forward. That’s what I’m shooting for in 2023.”
—Andy Short, sober since July 25, 2010.
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