SOBER PRIDE
We asked three individuals with different lengths of sobriety time about celebrating Pride in recovery—what it was like before getting sober, and what it’s like now.
BY PAULO MURILLO
A DIFFERENT WORLD
“I didn’t celebrate Pride until I got sober. I got involved in conventions, roundups, and pageants. I was Miss Sobriety 2012. I was a drag queen before I came out as trans. Every Pride was about visibility in the community and being a part of. Coming back after my relapse was a different Pride for me this time. I was in the Van Ness Recovery House and we were on lockdown because of COVID. I experience Pride every day now. It’s a different world when your visibility is something that matters. It was tough living two lives. I was scared to tell people my truth. It wasn’t until I was in the throes of a relapse that I actually got the courage to come out as transgender. I always knew. I grew in the Bronx in a Catholic family in the 80s. It was the AIDS epidemic, so there was fear for a feminine boy. Fortunately, I came out here to a place that was educated and knowledgeable about transitioning. If I didn’t get the love and support from the Van Ness Recovery House, I don’t think I would be the woman I am today.”
—Delilah, sober since June 10, 2020.
TOTALLY DOABLE
“Pride before sobriety was chaos. I would go out and be a drunk mess, especially at Long Beach Pride. I would party and not remember anything the next day because I would blackout. It was all about the partying and the drinking and it wasn’t anything about the messaging of Pride. I have not experienced a Pride sober. This year a couple of friends of mine who are sober are going out as a sober group. It sounds like fun. It would be challenging because there is liquor all around, but I think it’s possible to experience it sober. It really depends on who you’re around with and who goes with you and where you go. I think it’s totally doable.”
—Robert Soliz, sober since May 17, 2022.
MY FIRST
“I remember not wanting to be around people during Pride celebrations when I was in my active addiction. I lived in Arizona, so it was always hot during Pride. I never celebrated it. I was always home alone. I’m a little anxious and uncomfortable about this year. This will be my first sober Pride. I got sober in 2020, so there was no Pride celebration that year. It’s a whole new pride this time and I get to walk as a member of society who contributes to society instead of taking from it. My level of pride is not just that I have a supportive and loving family who supports everything about me, from my HIV status to me being a gay man. I also get to look at people in the eye and have a level of pride in myself. All I know about this year is that I was asked to march in the WeHo Pride parade and I’m showing up. I’ve been isolated for so long and I’m ready for something new.”
—Curtis Blue Nunez, sober since July 8, 2020.
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